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Focus on Relationship: Making things right
In part one of the series we explored some of the things that one might consider and action steps to take given only 30 days to live. We posed the question: How would your life be different had you only 30 days to live? We covered how we usually talk about the past and the future while forgetting to live today the best we can. The tendency that we have of exaggerating yesterday, overestimating tomorrow and underestimating today gives us a false perspective on how to best live life. What I urged is that you should start now, turn your intentions into actions and make today tomorrow’s ‘good old days’.
In part 2 of the series, we focus more on the relationship aspect of Part 1. My question to you today:
Is there anybody you wish you had a better relationship with or spent more time with?
Life is all about relationships: relationships with God or a ‘higher being’ and people. Our relationships with this “higher being” and the people we hang with affect our lives positively or negatively. To help you on your quest of intentional living and being on purpose, I’m going to share with you 4 areas of relationship that you should consider.
- Relationships you need to initiate
What relationships you currently do not have but need to have in your life? Perhaps your life would be better if you had this relationship. Is there someone you admire and that you’ve always wanted to meet or spend time with? Or is there someone that you’ve been thinking of helping? Don’t limit yourself as you consider your options, it could be a family member you never knew about, someone you look up to or a peer. Go ahead and make the first step. Initiate the relationship.
- Relationships you need to nurture
Do you have a relationship that’s already initiated but needs work to grow? This could be relationships at home that’s been neglected or taken for granted. Perhaps you have a friend or a business partner you would like to know better. Find ways to spend more time together. Don’t wait to be on your death bed and say “I wish I had spent more time with…” Plan some activities together, nurture and develop that relationship. Do it now and avoid having regrets later.
- Relationships you need to restore
Do you have a relationship that’s been broken or messed up by hurt, pain or unforgiveness? Perhaps you’ve had a fight with someone and have exchanged some really bad and nasty words. Most often than not, it’s over something so petty that it’s not even worth it. If the relationship is important to you, why don’t you be the catalyst? Make the first step toward the restoration of that relationship. Even if the other party doesn’t want to corporate and reconcile with you, do it anyway. Forgive the person, be open to the restoration of the relationship and move on with your life. If you don’t learn to forgive and forgive well, you’re going to have a miserable life.Secrets of forgiveness
- Forgive selfishly
“I don’t forgive first because I’m trying to let them off the hook”, said Pastor Chris, “I forgive because I’m trying to let me off the hook”. Whenever you hate someone and got junk in your heart, you’re punishing yourself way more than you’re punishing them”. Have you ever noticed how the people you have a problem with are going around happy and are sleeping well at night, snoring and having a great night of rest while you’re crying, messed up and rolling over? So forgive, not because it’s good for them, but because it’s good for you.
- Forgive freely
“Don’t make it a huge deal. Make it fast and painless. Just get over it… Don’t attach any condition to your forgiveness.
- Forgive repeatedly
“Be ready to forgive repeatedly because they’re going to do it again”. It’s not that the other person meant to do it again; it is just a fact of life that he/she will hurt you again – sometimes over the same thing. And so you should be ready to forgive again. This is really a two way street. You will one day need to be forgiven and sometimes more than once. The point is that in the end you don’t want to be on your death bed hating somebody.
- Forgive selfishly
- Relationships you need to severe
This may be difficult for some people but it’s really necessary. Some relationships that you have right now are destroying you. They are not helping you get to where you need to be. Those relationships bring us down and hamper our growth and development. It could be your business partners or an unhealthy romantic relationship causing you to compromise your ethic. It could also be a group of friends saying nasty things that are influencing you. The reality is that we all have these kinds of relationships and we know they are destroying us. We are just afraid of letting go when what we need to do is run away like our lives depended on it. In the end, our lives do depend on fleeing away from such relationships. Severe those relationships, break free from their influence and live your life on purpose.
Take action now and focus your efforts on living an intentional and on purpose life. And keep in mind, “Whoever walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm” (Prov. 13:20).(Thanks to Pastor Chris Hodges from Church of the Highlands for his inspirational and impactful teachings)